The following post was written by an amazing and dedicated mother who has two children diagnosed with autism. She works incredibly hard to implement pivotal response treatment therapy and has learned to overcome many obstacles.  She writes about her experiences below.

Afterword - December 2011 - a year and a half later....

On the day of Halloween this year I was asked to be a “helper” in Lucianoʼs first grade class to assist with several craft activities. I so wanted to be part of Luciʼs special fun day at school but for almost 2 years I have been asked to NOT be a parent aide for fear that I would upset his routine and cause a problem. The fact that Lucianoʼs teacher and support team gave the okay on this was major. And what a success! Luciano was excited to have me in the classroom but stayed in his seat and waited for instructions from his teacher. When it came time for him to work in my group he got to work on his task and chatted with his peers happily. When our group ended he pushed in his chair, said “Bye, Mom!” and left for the next craft. There were no tears. No head buttings. Luciano behaved like a “typical” kid. He was well-liked and had friends. These were the solid reminders of why an Inclusive education has been so crucial to his success. These were also affirmations that the years devoted to speech,behavioral and occupational therapy have not been for naught. Luciano is a dynamic, energetic, loving little boy. Sometimes we have days where I canʼt remember he has Autism. For this and so much more....I have so much gratitude. This gratitude is for the gift of community that Lucianoʼs Autism has brought to us. The team of teachers and therapists that have come into our world as a result of Lucianoʼs diagnosis are a great blessing to us and have helped me to be a better parent to not only Luciano but all of my children. This team has also been there to point out the warning signs in my third son of traces or hints of Autistic tendencies. This third son who I dreamt would be another chance at “normal” is proving to have challenges of his own...a delay in speech, obsessive/compulsive like behaviors, hitting himself, the need for sensory input by squeezing and pressing his chin on surfaces. It is all faintly familiar and yet for survival purposes we must block some of the memory of those behaviors out. Why else could we bear to go through it again?

As far as the question of having a large family when one child has special needs my response is automatic. Luciano has been a great gift to my oldest son. Our oldest son rides the Special Education Bus to school each day and doesnʼt know he is on the Special Education Bus. He helps the other children on and off the bus...he asks them to quiet down when the bus driver is frazzled and he is genuinely kind and loving to all of thechildren that ride on it. I love that he is growing up not knowing that there is a difference between a typical child and a child with special needs. In addition, I love how our “typical” child pulls Luciano into a social world. If left alone, Luciano would have always preferred to play alone but having a brother and now brothers, has created a world where there is a playdate going on everyday. When our fourth was born this last August, Luciano was the first brother that wanted to hold him and give him a kiss. Even now, his first wish when he gets off the bus each day is to greet and hug his baby brother. What a blessing our big family is to him!

And our marriage? I wonʼt lie to you. It is stressful. When my husband comes home in the middle of the day from work our house is not a house of peace. There are often 2 therapists there...sometimes a third as we now have people working with our third son in the afternoons. Sometimes we long for the peace of just letting the children run wild and not having the structure of therapy that can create arguments and tantrums from our son. We still get that date night though. We still attempt to create a space in our lives for one another and remind ourselves of why we started this family in the first place. We arenʼt perfect..but we are committed to make it work.

If there is anything that I have learned through my Moms In Touch prayer group that I started in the spring of 2010 it is that God doesnʼt give us children for us to mold and make them like us...He wants THEM to change us. I see this time and time again as I pray for God to change my children...and He ends up showing me that I need to change. My daily prayer is for more patience, more peace, more balance...and for my children to ALWAYS teach me more than I teach them.